fuckin katherine

My grandpa passed away..i had a real bad day.
I am struck in a situation tat im totally not at fault and i get blamed. One side is my close fren and the other end is someone i realli care so much. Becos of one gal action, it leds to Tom and myself unhappiness.
Its juz a GAME and i dunno y some ppl out there hv to make such a big fuss over it and complain to Tom. Bein nice, I already sincerely apologise to tat main person and she agreed to let the matter rest. She broke her promise and did some small actions. It might not be her cos i was told its her frens who did it. Watever! Its always so diff to be nice becos i always end up gettin in deep shit. I hate it so much when such thing happens and i realli very stress n seriously upset when theres unhappiness between me and Tom. Although he tried to be nice and apologise to me but wats the use.. hes not the one at fault and y did he apologise on the behalf of her? I know at the other end he will do the same thing to tat gal. I had enuf..
This is not the first time we had small fights over this gal. I know im always the one who over-reacting but i juz cant help. I crossed the line and deep in my heart i know Tom is very unhappy with me. He juz nv say out. I realli didnt wan to stress him in this way and if mi myself hide all my unhappiness and i kept quiet, its mental torture for me. Im not bein selfish or watever to show out my feelins. It sucks each n everytime i encountered such a problem. I can handle diff paxs onboard, handle irritating ppl out there but i cant handle myself well. I am a failure in all ways afterall.
People ard mi always thinks tat im a strong gal, actually im very weak.. not in health but mentally. I hv problems, stress tat i handle it myself all the times.. Whenever im upset, i cried in the middle of the night n after tat i tell myself i cant let my parents, my frens to see mi in tat manner cos i dun wan them to worried for me. They hv their own problems and if they worry for mi, im juz givin them more troubles. Tats y no matter how sad am i, i will still joke n laugh. Im too use to behave in this way since im a young teenager. I wonder which day than i can realli share my problems with someone.

Im too tired now.. i need a rest. I still need to attend my grandpa's wake tml morning.