Hanging on.. getting weaker.

This morning i woke up earlier then my normal timing. I feel like dialing operation number to report sick for my flight today. I am not sick, just that i am feeling very mentally tired. Thinking of hours later i have to wear that uniform of mine, tie that stupid hair of mine, apply nail polish, putting on make up all pissed me off.
After several struggling, FINALLY i decided... i should not report sick. No matter how unprepare how unwilling to go to work, i will go. I choose to be in this job, i must be responsible towards it. Furthermore, now jobs are hard to find anywhere.
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I really cannot understand how can people find their gf/bf over the internet? I have tried to figure out for long but still i couldn't find an answer. Maybe i think too much.. Everyday i receive messages from unknown guys all over facebook telling me how much they want to know me, trying hard to get my phone number etcs.. CRAP!

Few months back till now, I am ultra panic every now and then, i don't know what to do or what can i do to bring my life back to normal. All because i have a crush on someone. I do not wish to know he likes me anot, i want to keep forcing myself to stop liking him. I can do it!

My very good friend she seems to be very busy lately, eversince she got herself a new boyfriend. I really miss her! I want to tell her how i am feeling now, what is on my mind.