I am not happy

My whole mind is messed up! A moment of playfulness leads me to troubles. I will never betray myself but how many people will choose to believe me truthfully. I feel so worried, so scare and so insecure out of the sudden. I hate to be struck in such a situation which is beyond my control. What i am going to go through is worst then getting zapped during work.
I have got lots of say, i want to explain myself for what had happened, i don't want people to change their mindset of me base on their or other's thinking and words. I am definely not an attention seeker, i just want to be low profile and simple.
I might be very playful and open at times but i know my limit, i know where to put a full-stop.
I want to vent all my unhappiness out!!!